Some of us coach others as part of our work. Almost all of us have been coachees (one who receives training) at some point or other- be it at work or outside it. A coach is successful if he or she is able to help the coachee to achieve the set goal. But how many such coaches do we come across in our lives when coaching style is almost forgotten by most leaders!
I am sure that all of you remember the coaches who made great impact on your lives and so do I.
I am not going to talk about any business leader here but a level-headed driving instructor who helped me to achieve auto- mobility, essential for a working woman.
If you don’t mind reading a story, continue reading :-)
It took three years and two repeat courses for me to get a valid license five years ago!
The first time I joined a driving school was in 2006 with absolutely no clue on this art. But I was clear that I wanted to drive manual transmission cars.
The instructor introduced me to the foot pedals - Accelerator, Brake and Clutch and told me that the right foot should be used for pressing the accelerator and the brake. Of course, this arrangement guarantees that the accelerator is released as the driver brakes. But as a learner, I was worried about the reverse scenario – pressing accelerator by mistake instead of brake and the potential threat it can cause for others and me . I successfully mitigated this risk by removing my footwear so that I could feel accelerator and brake properly. I made the first day of my driving class highly memorable for my instructor and me when I broke the indicator rod after my first attempt to turn the indicator on. To my surprise, the instructor did not shout at me. I justified myself, “I thought that turning on indicator also needed same force as changing gears”. Though he told me that I would have to pay for my mistake, his smile indicated that I did not have to . The very first day itself he understood clearly that as a coach , he had challenging days ahead !
His patient coaching and appreciations from time to time increased my level of confidence so much so that I thought of driving my friend’s car when he visited my home. After starting the car I realized that we should plant more trees on the roads as they also have a function of stopping the vehicles and thus preventing damage to the compound walls of the houses. Needless to say, my confidence level had a steep fall, almost similar to the biggest ever crash in the stock market. Adding to my woes, my instructor changed. The new guy was not good at his behavior due to which I decided to put an end to my driving classes. Though the school offered me to send the previous instructor, I somehow lost the drive to drive and discontinued the classes.
A year later, I had to relocate to my home town. I decided to pursue my driving classes once again as I wanted to be have better “personal mobility”.
My colleague introduced me to a driving school where they had structured curriculum – theory, simulator classes, followed by on road practice sessions. They were truly professional! That of course impressed me being a quality professional.
Theory classes were very good. My practical sessions started. First day was peaceful. Second day, the engine of my vehicle stalled suddenly at a busy signal and all my attempts to start the car failed. The vehicles behind started honking. The drivers of the vehicles behind mine managed to somehow cross the signal, but they did perform the typical Bharatanatyam (A classical dance form in India) steps with their hands to convey their irritation to me. But I did not pay much attention to it as I was busy with my moon walk step using my left and right foot to somehow start the vehicle. The lady instructor, who appeared to be friendly till that moment, suddenly started yelling at me. The more she yelled, the more the engine refused to start.
At that moment, I understood why my son felt bad whenever I tried to teach him and his words echoed in my ears, “Why are you shouting at me when I make simple mistakes? “
The driving school maintains a progress card which details the modules to be covered each day and the rating of the learner against each. The “1/5” for “starting the vehicle” giggled at me.
After two days, my instructor changed. Topic was to “drive on uphill”. Objective was to start the car on an uphill road without causing it to roll down. He gave me two options - one using hand brake and other by managing clutch and accelerator. I looked at him to know which one would best suit me- an under performer. But his merciless face indicated that I should not waste time applying Pugh Matrix (a structured approach which is used to select the best option) to select the best option. I chose option 1 and 2 one after the other and failed miserably. By the time, the allotted one hour was over. On the way back to the school, the guy took the driver’s seat only to demonstrate his driving skills which irritated me even more. The 1’s and 2’s in my progress card suggested me not to appear for the driving test.
I felt that driving was the most complex job in the world which needs utmost concentration and co-ordination of all vehicle controls. I started admiring all drivers. I never complained when the auto rickshaw (three-wheeler) drivers asked me for more fare. After all, driving is a complex job.
A year later, I had to shift my residence and commuting to office became more and more difficult. I decided to join the same driving school again. This time determined to somehow get a license. Three classes were over without much problem. Fourth day my instructor changed. I drove the vehicle for 5 minutes and reached a small lane. The instructor asked me to stop the vehicle. I looked at him with a question mark on my face.
He smiled and told me, “Ma'am, this steering needs only a gentle touch and does not need any muscle power. So, relax all your muscles and start the vehicle with a smile”.
I burst into laughter. As usual, my vehicle stalled in the middle of the road and the bus behind started honking. He was cool and told me not to worry.
He told “It happens to all learners. Don’t worry about honking. Take your time and start the car”.
I was not under pressure this time. After two attempts, I successfully started the car. At last, I was lucky to have the right coach ! I requested the driving school to have him as my instructor. I had to go through complex modules - U-turn, driving uphill, parallel parking. But he handled all those with his humor and wit and did not create any tension for me. I gradually overcame the fear of driving. We shared the same objective – make me a confident driver.
I was not bothered about my grades this time as I was sure that one day I would anyway learn this art- art of driving.
On the final day of the classes he asked me, “Did you buy a pair of sun glasses?”
I did not understand. He said, “Ma'am, you are going to get your license soon. Keep your sun glasses ready and drive in style”.
I have been driving for the past five years and of course, many thanks to my wonderful instructor.
Coaching is an art. While structured design, assessments and constant feedback are must have for coaching; a coach plays a significant role for coaching to be effective. A real coach is one who is knowledgeable, calm, instills confidence in coachee, gives constructive feedback and sincerely wishes for the success of the coachee. At the same time, coachees also need to develop the perseverance and determination to accomplish the set goal, no matter the kind of challenges they need to face. Effective coaching turns around under performers to better performers. Needless to say, it benefits all –be it people, organizations or society.